


Tell Me About Julia

by didsomeonesayventus



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Gen, One Shot, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-19
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-06-12 21:32:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15349188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/didsomeonesayventus/pseuds/didsomeonesayventus
Summary: Rejecting the Chalice was easy.Thinking about it afterwards was harder.





	Tell Me About Julia

Getting the Chalice was... stressful. The death they were already somewhat desensitized to, and the folks were kind and lovely, but... The Chalice itself left a bit of unease between the three of them. So Madame Director- who most certainly wasn’t named Lucretia -decided a smaller adventure would build up morale. Something easier. Something to pass the time between Relics.

Magnus could finally at least get some sort of sleep. Being on the road felt more comfortable than their bunk at the Bureau. It was a fitful, restless sleep, but at least his eyelids got a moment of peace. Taako and Merle were probably going to stay up a bit longer into the night to take piss shots at each other, and he valued sleep over being witness to such antics.

“Hey big guy, you dreaming of loot without us?” Taako had asked in the morning. “Because, like, here’s a thought: maybe... Taako gets the loot. Hmm? Sound great?” It’d been long enough between the three of them that Magnus could see maybe Taako had crossed his blurry as fucking foggy glasses line between serious and sarcastic.

“I think what he means to say is:” Merle piped up from about his waist, “You were talkin’ quite a bit in your sleep last night, buddy, you feeling alright?”

“I guess. I mean, I slept like shit, but-”

“You kept talking about jewels.” Taako added, and Magnus felt his stomach drop. He looked at his elven companion, and Taako looked right back. “What’d I say?” He asked, brow furrowed, Umbra staff slung across his shoulders like he was one of those punk kids with a baseball bat. He leaned over, “What, you hiding treasure from us? Because mister if you are I’ll have you know-”

“No! What the hell makes you think I have some secret stash somewhere?!” Magnus threw his hands up.

Taako leaned back and shrugged.

“Well some more money for drinks after dying so much doesn’t sound bad. Maybe a margarita or two.” So fucking blase about everything. Endearing sometimes, but also just about as grating as screeching metal as a bank collapsed because a worm got pissy about its kids. Magnus was pretty firmly in the latter camp at the moment as he rolled up his bedroll. Julia’s ring glinted on his hand, winking almost as slyly as she did.

He slung his things on his back and huffed, “If I had money don’t you think I would’ve spent it by now?”

“Who knows!” Taako countered, “You could be banking with Garfield or somethin’ for all we know.”

“Garfield does banking?” Merle muttered.

Magnus rolled his eyes and took point. Some Gerblins had been causing trouble or whatever, small beans while the Bureau was searching for the next Grand Relic. Taako rushed ahead and patted his shoulder, as per his standard peace offering, “Hey, no hard feelings! just business, big guy.”

“The Bureau pays us plenty, Taako.”

“And I’m just saying, if that plenty could become MORE than plenty, I’d take that shot.”

“Really, what on earth makes you think I’d be-”

“Guys?”

“Maybe you found something. Maybe you sold all that wood whatever-”

“Guys?!”

“Taako, enough-”

“Magnus?!”

“Look, I don’t get why you’re getting your axe in a twist berenstain bear-”

“Taako?!”

“Taako drop it-”

“WE GOT COMPANY!” At last Merle got their attention. Their heads reeled, and soon after they followed suit. Taako seemed disinterested by the Gerblin ambush, shooting a few magic missiles after a quick twirl of his staff before moving on to seeing what obnoxious angle or stance he could accurately shoot from.

Magnus was, of course, rushing in when one of said missiles almost clipped him. “Would you focus?!” He yelled as railsplitter carved through a Gerblin like a really really hot knife and some really really hot butter. In fact the whole fight was like that, even for those taking it not so seriously.

The three huddled around their carnage.

Merle was the first to break off, “Welp, we’re done here.”

Taako glanced around. “Yeah. I’d say I got enough cream of Gerblin for today.” He leaned over his dwarven companion, “Hey, lemme get a look at the map...”

Magnus kept staring at Jule’s ring. He looked at the trees, wondered what the grain looked like behind the peeling, gnarled bark, wondered how well it would take lavender oil and how soft it was-

“Hey! Earth to Magnus!” Merle called to him, careful to lean on railsplitter and then careful to lean on his thigh. “You comin’?”

“You owe me a margarita.” Taako quipped.

“I do not!” Magnus protested, his stupor finally pierced, “That was your idea!”

“Good, you’re paying attention.” Taako remarked with the usual shit-eating grin.

Magnus thought about the Chalice.

“Seventy-six people died. Julia and your mentor included... you earned this happy ending. You worked so hard for it. It shoulda been yours! But it hasn’t happened yet. Not here! Not yet! Not now!”

He was still thinking about it when he couldn’t sleep.

Magnus watched the stars, the swirls of galaxies. He carved out his own constellations in silence while Taako performed some of his old cooking show stunts for Merle who was far too easily delighted from the sound of it.

“You can save Julia. You can save Steven. You can save Raven’s Roost”

He really couldn’t. He had to be honest with himself there. He was honest with himself then. He wanted to, but she would know how he’d cheated and turned the clock back in ways no man like him was meant to, she would be so disappointed. She was waiting for him fair and square, after all. In this timeline she’d be abandoned, he realizes perhaps too late, but to thankfully no consequence. It passes his head on how dangerous hunting the Relics is, how she was probably wondering when she could see him and how much longer it would be. He felt at peace with the idea of death, though he probably learned that from their most recent gig-

“Do you think he can sleep with his eyes open?” Merle muttered.

“Ditto.” Taako replied. “Must be a human thing.”

“I’m awake, you know.”

“Drat.”

Magnus sighed and sat up, digging through his burnsides and trying to wonder how the hell he was gonna sleep. “Hard to get some rest with you two chatting all the time.” He muttered.

The silence was odd.

“The Chalice...” Magnus began reluctantly, “Did you guys... Really, really want to? Were you acting when you said no? Be honest. Steven knows if you’re being honest.”

“Nah.” Taako immediately replied, “She didn’t show me any shit that’s too interesting.” There was something gleeful in his tone since they’d visited the timesick town. Like a burden was lifted. He’d mentioned obliquely to some big regret and his ordeal being “chill as hell”, and surprisingly he wasn’t going back on his word for that one.

“There’s really no used thinking about it.” Merle hummed, “Life happens, you know? I think I already explained it back then. You make the choice you can make, and you live with it. It’s not healthy to think about what ifs. ‘Roll with the waves,’ as we said on the beach.”

Neither of their answers changed. Good.

Magnus laid back down with a sigh, drumming his fingers on his chest.

“Is that it?!” Taako suddenly cried out, a light bulb apparently crashing from their heavenly base square in the fucking face with another of his Ideas™, “Did the Chalice offer you money?! We coulda been rich!”

“No!” Magnus leaned up on his side, “The Chalice didn’t offer me money! It was much, much more valuable than that!”

“What, then? What’s up with the jewels in your sleep then, huh? A-and you mentioned a Julia was she loaded-”

“ _Jules was my wife._ ” Magnus rolled over. “Julia was the best of wives and best of women. She’s gone.”

There was a long pause before Taako muttered, “Oh shit.”

Merle muttered a small, abbreviated prayer to Pan.

“Yeah. 'Oh shit.' Goodnight.” Magnus growled back.

Taako walked over and bent over Magnus, “Hey, don’t just go tellin’ us just that! I dunno, talk to me about her. I’m curious.”

“I don’t think I’m sleeping any time soon. Would love to hear some stories about this mythical perfect wife.” Merle added, plopping down against Mangus’s back.

And Magnus talked. About the dimples always present in her features that seemed to get deepest when she was mad. That first real date of theirs when she ended up accidentally breaking his fingers with a hammer while they kept talking about each other as they were working on a particularly stubborn table. The fact she always insisted on making sure his pieces were level- and they always were. How she learned from him and her learned from her. His hands showing her a different way to carve, something she remarked she’d never seen in Faerun. The cabin they planned on building together, custom made, every detail perfect down to the joints and the wood and even the nails and screws they would need.

He told them about Julia.

He told them about how he missed her a lot.

And silently, he wondered if she was proud of him for rejecting the Chalice and if she could wait for him just a bit longer.

**Author's Note:**

> I am. so intimidated by the fucking _character_ thrown into these horny bois like. I don't think I could really do them justice lmao the McElroys are all astonishingly good writers once you strip a lot of the goofs away because there's just. so much FANTASTIC character writing and here I am struggling to get these mannerisms just right ha ha.
> 
> anyways I love this dumb podcast where nerds RP so hard they cry.


End file.
